Do you rejoice in other people’s joy? I have a husband who loves his hobbies. When I say hobbies, I am really talking about a love for activities and sports that border on obsession. He loves hunting (of all kinds), he loves golf (and plays way more often than he ever admits) and he loves fishing (even a thick layer of ice doesn’t hold him back).
It is helpful to know that I grew up in a family and circle of friends where nobody hunted or fished or golfed. At the beginning of our marriage all of these hobbies became a source of contention. While I was home watching two young children and my husband spent 6 hours on a golf course or left for a hunting weekend, I wasn’t the happiest with him. To me these were just things that he used to “escape” or use for his own joy.
Over the years (and through many conversations and some arguments) we have come to a good balance. My husband still enjoys his hobbies tremendously but he has reached more of an equal devotion between those hobbies and his work, home responsibilities, family time and other things.
Change your perspective and rejoice in other people’s joy
More importantly, I have changed my attitude and feelings toward his time and how he spends it. The truth is that I know he finds great joy in his hobbies. He is not golfing or fishing or hunting to hurt me or neglect other responsibilities, rather he is doing those things because he has found what brings him joy.
What I’ve learned is that I can, and should, find joy in him being happy. I love seeing him passionate about things. Also, I love that he pursues what makes him feel happy and fulfilled. I have learned to see all the good that his joy brings to our relationship because he is a happier person.
This same idea holds true for my children, my friends and those around me who are truly experiencing joy. Joy is not a limited commodity in a way that if someone else has it then there wouldn’t be enough for me. Instead, joy is an unlimited resource. I think we all need to spend more time being happy for each other and spend less time comparing someone else’s joy to ours. Someone else’s joy should not make us feel less about ourselves. It is hopeful and good to see those around us happy and if we take ourselves and our feelings of inadequacy out of the way more, I think we will feel nothing but happiness for them.
Challenge for the week:
Think of something that brings your loved one joy and encourage them in that. Ask about it more. Maybe participate in that thing with them. Encourage them with words about loving the passion they have.