There’s something that weighs heavy on my heart. It’s the depression and anxiety I see plaguing so many of our teens and young people. I feel compelled to try and help them see the good, have hope and feel gratitude for the blessings they have. But how do I do that? I’m at a loss for how to reach them. I don’t know how to get them to see all the good things that I see.
As a mother of two teenagers myself, I know the stress and pressure that teens are facing these days. Peer pressure has been around since the beginning of time, but living in the age of social media hasn’t. Pressure and comparison is magnified. Sometimes it seems like the “good” that is betrayed by videos and posts online are happening to everyone else but them, making their lives look so much “less than”.
Through the internet, young people are also exposed to more “newsworthy” and negative headlines. These soundbites and headlines that are aimed at grabbing their attention often expose the most shocking, sad and scary things happening around us.
The Mental Health of Teens
The result of all this comparison and negativity? A rise in the mental health disorders of U.S. children. Some recent statistics from the CDC website state that 7.1% of children aged 3-17 have diagnosed anxiety and 3.2% have diagnosed depression (see full statistics here). Anxiety continues to be the leading mental health issue among youths in America and these diagnosed cases are rising steepest in high school and college students (read more here).
Author and podcaster, Allie Beth Stuckey, summarizes the current state of our youth so well in her new book, “You’re Not Enough (and That’s Okay) – Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self Love”. She says, “For a generation obsessed with personal happiness and self-discovery, we’re startlingly unhappy and lost”. She goes on to surmise that, “The reason we, a generation living in the most prosperous era in the most prosperous country in the world, still can’t find fulfillment is because we’re looking for it in all the wrong places”.
So how can young people take the focus off of “self” and start to see and appreciate all the good around them? I believe it is through a change of perspective. They need to balance out the negative influences by seeking the positive. We can help with this by teaching gratitude, empathy, how to avoid social-comparison and the joy in helping others. Young people need to be a positive influence to their peers to help them achieve this and one person who is doing exactly that is Sofi.
Spotlight: See the Good by Sofi
Sofi is a 17 year old from Miami who started a website and business in 2019 called, See the Good by Sofi. I found her website and was amazed to see such passion for spreading positivity. Her mission and outlook has spurred a business of merchandise (really cute stuff!), YouTube videos of inspiring people and community service projects. I was so impressed by Sofi’s combination of attitude and action, that I reached out to her to find out more.
Question:
What specific experience started your mission to help people see things in a more positive way?
Answer:
I wouldn’t say it was one specific experience alone that made me want to help people see things in a more positive way. A really long chain of events led me to where I am today. I grew up with an amazing family who always stayed positive throughout hardships and they taught me everything I know. This was always sort of an idea in my mind, but I didn’t have the courage to start it until I worked as a camp counselor for the children of poor migrant farmers. Seeing how those kids had so little, yet saw the world in such a beautiful light really ignited a fire in me and it made me realize that this was something I absolutely had to do.
Question:
What do you see as the biggest barrier to teens and young people seeing good in the world?
Answer:
I think that the biggest barrier to teens and young people seeing the good in the world is the societal standards we’ve grown up with. We tend to constantly compare ourselves and our lives to others, especially with social media being at our fingertips constantly. The mindset society has ingrained in us makes us feel like we have to constantly be happy and our lives have to be as perfect as an influencer’s Instagram feed, when in reality that’s never going to be the case.
Because there are always mishaps and imperfections in life, people tend to focus on those and beat themselves up for the things that go wrong. I think that constant comparison and the obsession with painting a particular image of yourself that might not be completely true to who you are not only on social media but in your day to day life is definitely something that’s holding most teens back.
Question:
What piece of advice would you give people who have a hard time seeing the good around them?
Answer:
A piece of advice I’d give to people who have a hard time seeing the good around them and feel overwhelmed by all the negativity and bad news is to not let yourself go through it alone. When I was in a really dark place, I confided in friends, teachers, and members of my family who made sure that I felt loved, empowered, and uplifted. It took me a while to get to that point, but once I did it got so much easier to see the good. Thinking you can take on everything that’s overwhelming you by yourself is only going to make things worse, so I would say to try and find someone in your life (even just one person) who you know loves you and just be around them.
Another piece of advice is to look for the good in your day. It’s so easy to notice all the things that go wrong and let them ruin your day, but we always seem to forget about the little things that go well. A day doesn’t need to have a groundbreaking, incredible and mind blowing moment for it to be a good day. At the end of every day, challenge yourself to think of 3 things that went right or that made you smile throughout the day. Ending the day with positive thoughts will hopefully help you start the next day the same way.
How to Help Teens to See Good?
What lessons can we learn from Sofi? First, that the support, love and positive attitude we show others has a huge impact. Our positive perspective can influence others to view things in the same way. Second, that comparison is the thief of joy. We should help teens and young people to have an authentic self-image and try to avoid social-comparison. We can do this by regularly discussing the realities of what is portrayed on social media versus real life. Finally, be a source of support to young people around you. It’s free to offer a listening ear, a smile and an encouraging word.
We need more people like Sofi. There is a whole generation of young people who need to shift their perspective and see the good around them. It breaks my heart to see teens struggling with depression, anxiety and hopelessness, especially when they have so much to be thankful for. Let’s do our part.
Challenge for this week:
- Reach out to a teenager or young person in your life and encourage them. Share a positive and hopeful thought with them.
- Evaluate your own perspective and how it is projected to others.
Resources:
Book: You’re Not Enough (And That’s OK): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love by Allie Beth Stuckey
Purchase Sofi’s “see the good” products
