We strive for happiness, but what about contentment? We don’t often hear about the pursuit of contentment, but we do hear about the pursuit of happiness. What is the difference and is one better than the other? I’d like to encourage you to change your perspective and see how to change your life with contentment.
Happiness vs. Contentment
Happiness and contentment are two very different things. Happiness, according to the Oxford English Dictionary is defined as, “Good fortune or luck in life or in a particular affair; success; prosperity. The state of pleasurable content of mind, which results from success or the attainment of what is considered good”. The implication here is that happiness is passive. We feel happiness when something happens to us or when we acquire good things. By that logic, if you had things and prosperity than you should be happy. But many people have these things and are still not happy.
Contentment, according to the same dictionary is defined as, “Having one’s wants bound by what one has; not disturbed by the desire for anything more or different; satisfied.” Isn’t this what we are all really striving for? Don’t we all want to long for what we already have and not desire anything different? Do we want to be satisfied or do we want to be happy? I believe there is a difference.
Are we content?
Where I live I am surrounded by people who seem to have all the comforts they would need…nice homes, plenty of food, good jobs, and safety. These same people also have material comforts above and beyond what they need. Yet somehow these people are not satisfied, not happy and are always wanting more.
While I think it is great to strive for better things and pursue success, I also think we should recognize the good in being content. We can work towards better and more while at the same time being content with what we have.
How do we find contentment?
I think that contentment is something we can all have more of if we simply change our perspective. While happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, contentment is a choice. We choose to be satisfied with what we have by changing and controlling our attitude. Instead of looking at what we don’t have, what we want to have, and what others have, we need to change our perspective and appreciate the things that we have now.
One practical way to find contentment is to be more grateful. When we practice gratitude and count our blessings, we focus on all the things we already have. Some people have blessing jars where they write down what they are grateful for on pieces of paper and put them into the jar. It serves as a visual reminder of abundant blessings and also as a resource for times of wanting more. Others have success with keeping a journal of their gratitude. This discipline of regularly writing down things you are grateful for shifts your focus to all that you have.
Another practical way to find contentment is to stop comparing yourself to others. As Theodore Roosevelt famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. How many times have you felt satisfied and even happy with yourself and your life until you compared yourself to others? It could be walking into a store and seeing all the things you don’t have, it could be scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and looking at the photos of your friends’ events and successes, or it could simply be wishing you were more like someone else.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Theodore Roosevelt
The problem with comparison is that it steals our peace by distracting us from focusing on our gifts and blessings. Instead, it leads to jealousy, doubt and insecurity. There are multiple studies out now (like this one) that link time on social media to depression and dissatisfaction.
You can also find contentment by enjoying the small things. It is often the simple things in life that bring happiness….things like laughter, authentic relationships, comfort and quiet time. When we put more importance on the small and simple things and stop feeling entitled to bigger and better, then we will find contentment.
Contentment is good and is something we should be motivated to feel. Happiness will come and go but being content provides a solid foundation of peace in our lives. I urge you to change your perspective, appreciate what you have and find how rich your life can be with contentment.
Challenge for this week:
Pause for time of reflection (on paper or in your mind) and do these 3 things to find more contentment.
- Assess what you have – not just in material possessions but in all the things that make your life better.
- Be grateful for what you have. List all the things you are grateful for.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Think about situations where comparison leads to negative feeling and then make an effort to avoid those situations.