Oftentimes in life we are taught to do everything on our own and “mind our own business”. Today’s culture seems to look at independence as strength. While being independent and able to take care of ourselves is a great characteristic, the truth is that we were not designed to do life on our own. None of us are perfect and we often need others. Authentic relationships are important and add so much good to our lives.
We are made to need each other. We need each other for companionship, perspective, growth and wisdom. Authentic relationships with others help us to feel connected and understood. Relationships are also complementary, meaning that the different perspective of another person can help you in your growth or decision making.
Opportunities for Authentic Relationships
In my life I value the authentic relationships I have and count them all as blessings. I’m thankful for the relationship I have with my husband, my children, my siblings, parents and friends. A very significant relationship I have in my life in my relationship with God. Feeling connected in each of these relationships is what gets me through life. I don’t want to do life on my own and I don’t have to because I know I have support and strength in the people around me.
Recently we celebrated a milestone birthday for one of our neighbors. It was a beautiful summer evening and we walked a few houses down to join neighbors and friends to eat, drink and honor our friend. We spent the evening talking, sharing news, watching children play and discussing current events. I loved the time connecting with these people….the people I live near and do life with. I walked away from the evening feeling so thankful for the connections and familiarity I have with these neighbors I pass by every day. It gave me a sense of belonging here and also gave me a sense of security knowing that these people are here if I need them.
Relationships bring more joy than circumstances
Authentic relationships are important because they are a powerful way to bring joy to our lives. Relationships being more joy to our lives than circumstances and things. In fact, relationships are what get us through hard circumstances and help us celebrate the good ones. A hard time is so much easier to get through when we have someone to lean on, comfort us and provide counsel. Likewise, an exciting accomplishment or fun time is so much better when we have someone to share it with.
Relationships also bring more joy than material things and should be valued that way. You can have all the money in the world, live in the biggest house, drive the nicest car but still feel unhappy if you are alone. It is the connection with others that brings meaning and joy to the material things we possess.
Types of relationships – authentic vs superficial
In this day of social media and technology there are many kinds of “relationships”. Even the word “friend” has become distorted by social media platforms where we can claim to have hundreds of “friends” we have never met before. As a mother of 2 teenagers, I know how powerful social media connections are in their lives. I have seen the number of “friends”, “likes” and “streaks” take over as their status of connection. I also enjoy my social media connections and appreciate the way technology allows me to associate and keep up with so many people. However, I worry about these often superficial connections taking the place of authentic relationships. An online personality can mask the true or authentic person behind it. Face to face relationships require vulnerability, honesty and emotion that is hard, if not impossible, to come by in online relationships.
If you have close relationships in your life, be thankful. Appreciate them, cultivate them and be thankful for them. Recognize the good that these people bring to your life and count yourself as blessed.
Challenge for this week:
- Make a list of all the close relationships you have. Consider the different areas of your life (work, family, neighborhood, friends, childhood, etc.) and make a list of the people you would consider having a close and true relationship with. Be thankful for these people.
- If you are lacking in close relationships, spend time thinking about who in your life you would like to be closer to. Make an effort to reach out to those people and spend time and energy strengthening your relationship.
- Spend more time in face-to-face relationships than online. If you have someone that you have been keeping in contact with online, set a time to meet in person and then notice if the relationship feels more authentic because of that time together.