I’ve been reflecting this week on the many people and resources I have in my life for help. I have people I can go to for advice that I trust, resources in neighbors and friends who have skills that I don’t have, and connections that I know I can call upon in a time of need. I feel blessed and grateful to know that I have these resources.
However, even with all the help that is available to me, the only way to actually get the hep I need is to ask for it. I have to be willing to take advice and seek after what I need. This requires me to be humble and willing to admit that I can’t do it on my own.
I’ve needed help in so many areas of my life. I’ve asked for prayers and emotional support through hard times. I’ve asked for technical instruction in my job. As a working mom with two children, I’ve often asked for help with things like driving and taking care of the kids. Countless times I’ve needed advice on parenting, marriage and life decisions. The list goes on and on and I continue to need help.
Personal improvement involves asking for help
Asking for help is a good thing. While it is admirable to try and do things ourselves, we will probably all reach a point where we need the help from others. Part of being human is having limitations. We all need help in certain areas of our life because we are not and cannot expect to be experts at everything.
Training, schooling and life experiences can easily make us an “expert” in certain areas. We can feel comfortable with what we know and what we can handle. But life doesn’t just throw us what we know and what we can handle. The beauty of life is that we are always learning new things (the benefits of which are written about here) and experiencing new situations. We will always need help.
Asking for help improves relationships
Asking for help makes you vulnerable. It lets someone know that you need them. This can help build stronger and deeper relationships which leads to a more meaningful life. In addition, it gives the helper an opportunity to share his or her expertise or abilities which helps them feel good. Most people like to help others and have the chance to share the time, knowledge and strengths that they have.
Do you know someone in your life who is notoriously bad at taking advice? I have some people in my life who are like that. I see them get offended and defensive when someone tries to help them by sharing advice. They take advice as an insult to what they are not doing right. Instead of accepting the help, they let their anger get in the way and refuse to accept it. The problem is that these people just continue down the same path and don’t take advantage of the opportunity to improve.
I know other people who are so humble and willing to accept any help they can get. These are the people who thrive and continually improve. They accept criticism as constructive and try to apply the help to their lives. I see these people as confident enough in who they are that they can acknowledge their shortcomings. These are also the people who tend to have a growth mindset. The Harvard Business Review says that asking for help is a sign of strength and an attribute of a good leader.
Forms of help in our lives
We need to look for help around us and see the options that we have. Opportunities for help are all around us and take on many different forms. In this age of technology help on many topics can easily be found by watching You Tube videos and online tutorials. Other forms of help include:
- Advice from family members and friends who know you best
- People who have skills different or better than yours
- Someone to listen
- Online counseling
Perspective on asking for help
It is good to be humble and not think too highly of ourselves. We were all given different abilities have different talents and skills. It is a wonderful thing when we can come together and share what we know and what we have experienced. It is part of living in community (more about the benefits of community here) that we were not meant to do life on our own. We need each other and can help each other.
Instead of seeing asking for help as a sign of weakness, we need to change our perspective and see it as sign of strength. Humble yourself and admit when you need help. When others ask for help from you, see it as a compliment for who you are…someone they trust and view as a resource. Finally, freely share the gifts and talents you have in a kind and loving way so that you can help others to improve their lives. We’re all in this together and stronger together than on our own.
Challenge for this week:
- If there is something that you are struggling with but have been trying to do or solve on your own, think of one or two people who have either the expertise or ability to help you. Reach out to those people for help.
- Check your perspective the next time someone asks you for help. Do you view it as a sign of weakness or laziness? Or do you view it as sign of strength from that person and trust in you?
Inspiration
For some wonderful inspiration from the perspective of someone who asks for help on a daily basis, watch this Ted Talk. You will be inspired to not only ask for help but also to look for opportunities to improve your life by helping others.