Happiness is found in helping others. Despite the self-help messages so prevalent today, life is not all about your happiness. For many people this is hard to hear. It’s not the uplifting message they’re looking for, but it is true nonetheless. Current culture makes it very easy to think that our own happiness is the main goal and the most important pursuit. However, to the contrary, life is about serving others and caring about the good of those around us.
I was asked recently what one piece of advice I would give to the youth today. My response was, “Look beyond yourself”. Kids, teens and millennials are growing up in a very self-focused and egocentric culture. Much of their social life and free time centers around cameras, selfies and image projection. They’re being raised in a world of digital photos, social media and video calls. Everything seems to be recorded and documented.
I am not blaming them or suggesting that they choose this scenario, in fact my own teenage kids would rather have most of that go away. I also admit that I’m guilty of participating in this egocentric culture too and can easily fall victim to this mentality. We don’t choose the culture around us but we do choose how we react to it.
Look Beyond Yourself
If we can make an effort to shift the focus away from ourselves and our circumstances, we often find more joy. Why does this happen? It happens because when we focus on others, our problems, needs and wants stop taking center stage in our life. We realize that we are not alone in our trials. We start to see the needs of others and recognize the bigger picture.
Looking beyond yourself is why it’s important to not be isolated. The more people we talk to and get to know, they more stories we learn. I know people who are so isolated from others that the issues of their world become all-consuming. On the other hand, the people I know who spend time listening to others, getting involved in the lives of those around them and using their time to help people are happier.
There are many ways to look beyond yourself. Getting to know others, making an effort to show interest and be involved in your community, educating yourself about an issue you are passionate about and exploring how you can make a difference. All of these things will help take the focus away from yourself.
The happiest people are those who do the most for others.
Booker T. Washington
People seem to be more energized and fulfilled when they are making a difference for others. They realize that they are not the most important thing and that their happiness is not all that matters. Ironic, isn’t it? Finding happiness by not focusing on your own happiness?
Helping Others
It feels good to serve others. We get a feeling of purpose and accomplishment knowing that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves. I think there is a built-in desire inside all of us to feel useful and purposeful. If we don’t fulfill that desire, then we often feel an emptiness.
One of the easiest ways to fulfill this purpose is to volunteer. Volunteer and service opportunities are everywhere. The opportunities are not just in a third world country or on a mission trip (which are great and noble ways to serve) but also right in your own backyard! Helping in our cities, tutoring kids in our schools, serving neighbors, etc. There are so many ways to give and serve in an area that meets your passion.
We all serve differently. You may have resources or talents that you can share with others. Maybe you have the gift of organization for your kid’s school, their team or your neighborhood group. Perhaps you have expertise and can advise on a committee or lend your skills. If you don’t feel like you have money or a specific skill to share, then maybe time is the thing you give. Often the sacrifice of time to listen and to talk is the most valuable service you could give.
Don’t let what you don’t have keep you from giving what you do have.
Mark Batterson
Benefits of Helping Others
It Builds Resiliance
When the world is not all about you, then it’s harder to become overwhelmed with your problems. You gain a perspective that other people have needs too and that your issues are not unique. You become inspired by the stories and lives of others and that makes you stronger to handle your own life.
We Gain Purpose
Having a sense of purpose has been shown again and again to increase our well-being by providing meaning. A meaningful life is a measure of happiness and contentment and research has found that giving to others can make our lives more meaningful (more on that here). It’s hard to find meaning by gathering up personal accomplishments and focusing on our own good. Gaining a sense of purpose is a direct benefit of helping others.
We Build Connections
Helping others helps us build connections which are so essential for happiness. We need to be in relationships to find true joy. This means caring about others and taking the focus away from ourselves. It means not being isolated but, instead, getting involved in the lives of those around you. When we volunteer, give to others and even take time to listen to others, we are building connections.
Removes the Stigma of Asking for Help
The more we reach out to help others, the more comfortable we are asking for help ourselves. We see the gratitude and strength it takes to ask for and receive help. The stigma we feel in admitting out own needs decreases every time we help others. Asking for help is a good thing (read more here) and it is one of the benefits we gain from helping others.
However you serve, I know you will find happiness in helping others. Volunteering, being generous and having a service mindset and all ways to help others that will also bring you joy.
Challenge for this week:
Get out of your comfort zone and look for ways to help others. Seek opportunities to look beyond yourself….like starting a conversation with a stranger, reaching out to a neighbor or finding an area where you’d like to volunteer.